First-Person Shouter

I understand how you feel. Jarate seems so…slapstick. Most of the humour in TF2 is smart and interesting and made the funnier for it. Jarate doesn’t seem to fit.

The Huntsman… eh, it’s okay. The Razorback looks pretty useless. But this really takes the cake. =/

Stay classy, Valve.

Oh Chris, don’t feel bad, this is just like the sniper update actually being the spy update; only the conspiracy theorists knew.

Well, holy crap. The update for my two favorite (though not best) classes drops the day school gets out. Could this be any sweeter? Well, if TF2 decides to actually update itself this time, that’s just icing on the delicious headshotty backstabby cake.

Hey, TF2 is full of slapstick. like spy’s head being blown off or VIOLENCE IS FUNNY in the meet the team videos.

Yeh, weapon-grade sniper pee is pretty low-brow, but the comic makes up for it in my book.

I’m kinda confused about the spy unlockables. The Ambassador obviously replaces the revolver, but what replaces the knife? The “Dead Ringer” and “Cloak and Dagger” both seem to replace the regular watch.

Maybe the knife unlockable will be revealed tomorrow. But then the Spy would get four unlockables which seems unfair, unless one of these watches are actually just an improvement on the original like the air burst for the Pyro.

Jarate’s awesome, no matter what anyone says. It will also be more useful than people think.

@ Zoinker: Both watches are side grades for the invisibility watch. You get to pick one or the other.

Also: Throwing piss is hilarious. And if you fail to have a lick of humor, think of the usefulness of the item. Jarate is making the Sniper an even bigger part of the team; Putting out fires and revealing spies.

Stupid or not, the look of abject horror on the spy’s face in the update is wonderful. Shorting out the cloak seems useful, but I’d be more in love with it if it produced an “invisble guy thwarted by thrown oil” style translucent yellow silhouette.

I’m with you on this one, Mr. Livingston. I’m waiting for Valve to announce that they were joking again about Jarate and release the real unlockables and achievements.

I’m also waiting for the 4th unlockables for the sniper and spy. I think (at least I hope) that the Razorback and the Dead Ringer watch will be wearable items that Valve was talking about releasing for cosmetic purposes. They’re both viable sidegrades to nothing. The Razorback offers measly protection while slowing you down, and the Dead Ringer makes you play dead instead of giving you the option or running, or staying in disguise and pretending you weren’t hit. There are plenty of situations where it’s preferable to just not have these, must less chose an original weapon over them. Besides, you can’t actually use these two items. You just kind of have them until they kick in.

@ Frothy: I for one am not looking forward to having snipers running around and throwing piss on all their teammates. Give me a spy-checking pyro any day.

@ Offriender: I always forget about rampant spy-checking.

I love Valve’s approach to a new spy weapon. I find it hilarious how everyone on the forum wanted a stealth weapon, and Valve just gave them a handcannon. Serves them right!

I think people are forgetting the extra damage thing. Heavy-Medic stomping through your defensive line? Not any more, with Saxton Hale-brand Jarate!

I also find the low-brow humor complaint a little silly as well. One of the joke’s in Meet the Spy was essentially a “Your mom” joke delivered with a European accent. The Demoman has a bottle of whiskey because, lol, Scottish people are drunk a lot. The Scout’s humor comes from him being a massive jerk and a New York accent. Weapons-grade urine fits right in as far as I’m concerned.

well i guess i wasn’t expecting THAT, with the piss and all… oh well, i guess no update is perfect. Either way, best update yet for me at least. Mainly because of THE DOUBLE PAYLOAD MAAAAAAAP!!!!!!! OMG OMG

What’s with all the hate for Jarate? Seriously, it’ll be overwith in a month, leaving only a few dedicated users being stupendously or not at all effective with it. Sandman, everyone.

jarate is awesome done.

Urine isn’t funny. Is it necessary for Valve to meet a suck quota every update? Besides, are we going to get a true secondary weapon ever again in these updates? Are they all going to be gags now?

Not sure if you noticed, I wouldn’t be surprised if this has even been mentioned, but Jarate is one of the warning lights on the blu screen.

Soldier’s shottie unlock: Another rocket launcher. Keep them both loaded!

Everybody laughed when in the Meet the Sniper video when they noticed the jars of urine, but god forbid valve tries to include lessons about the value of recycling by having him turn it into a weapon.

Mother Fu#$er, they tricked me, I thought that urine was just a joke from the meet the sniper video. The interesting thing is how the new upgrades create 2 main types of snipers, a long range one with a sniper rifle, razerback (speed doesn’t matter at long range) and kurai, and a medium range one with bow, kurani and jarate who can provide better close support.

I wonder is “frothy” is right because that seems to be the only thing that makes sense for the spies upgrade. But the ambassador is completely stupid. I liked the fake spy update with the critical damage pistol to the back is much more in line with the class. Instead we will get people who are gods with headshots and will ravage everyone. And I wish they had a just stun sapper from the fake update to allow teamwork and acutally be able to take out turret farms.

This may sound really ungrateful (and it is), but I kind of think that valve might have made a mistake with jarate. We all laughed nervously when they showed us it because we thought it was a joke. It was a pretty funny joke too. But I really really don’t want this in the game…

The Boomer was clearly a cry for help. Valve has issues, Jerry Springer-grade issues. We all love Valve, and don’t want it to get hurt, but we need to understand that they are in a bad place and need help. I set up an appointment with a doctor in the city for next Tuesday. I can drive Valve to it, but I need you to make sure it’ll get in the car and behave on the way.

I’m with Chris on this one. It’s a cool item, but the “humor” of it is just tasteless.

I thought it was a great joke in the Meet the Sniper video, but was hoping it was a throw-away joke, not something they would build a game mechanic around. I’m fine with low-brow humor, but for an in-game item we’re going to be playing with every day, it just seems like they could have done better.

I kinda feel the same way, even though I’m willing to give it a try. Let me know if you come upon a replacement mod.

The humour of Jarate is not in its LOLOL URINE, but rather in the carefully-played-up fact that a GROWN MAN is throwing JARS OF HIS OWN URINE AT HIS ENEMIES ON THE BATTLEFIELD, in an attempt to cause IRREVERSIBLE PSYCHOLOGICAL TRAUMA, in a style he learned from AN AD IN THE BACK OF A COMIC BOOK. Which is slightly less low-brow.

Sorry: it doesn’t work as well without the allcaps. Anyways, I suppose we’ll see. I was shocked and horrified when I found out it was real: I suppose that’s also another source of humour: one’s opponent’s “loss of trust in the inherent goodness of his fellow man”.

Now typical Sniper vs Spy fight will be like this:

- Gentlemen.

- Piss off,ya wanka!

- AAAAAAaaaAAAaaaaaaA!

It’s definately not over yet. Check the Ambassador page. That spy is holding something in his other hand that screams new unlock.

@Mr Brit - I’m pretty sure that’s just the BLU spy’s cigarette. It’s brown and the RED spy has white.

I’m honestly indifferent to Jarate. It sounds like a great item to me. The whole urine aspect to it may be a little low-brow and more at home in a fifth grader’s comedy routine, but really, doesn’t it just make sense for the Sniper? Look at some of the weapons the other classes received:

The Scout got a wooden baseball bat that can fling baseballs at his opponents and stun them. It suits him because he’s a baseball-loving punk.

The Heavy got a sandwich that can heal health upon consumption and it accompanied by humourous eating sounds. It suits him because he’s a big, fat doofus.

The Sniper gets a jar of urine that he can throw at opponents to temporarily lower their defense and disable cloaking abilities. It suits him because he spends his days crouched in a bunker waiting for his target to arrive, and when you gotta go, you gotta go.

So yeah, it’s a big heaping jar of piss. It’s also a valid gameplay item with great applications in the field, and it suits the Sniper’s character. I’m willing to deal with the urine factor if it means staying true to who a character is. I mean, I’ve heard some people suggest violent chemicals or the like in place of the Jarate. Why? It’s the low-tech, living-out-of-a-camper-van Sniper we’re talking about here, not the high tech and suave Spy.

I’ll gladly be flinging around mason jars of urine within the next week. What of it?

…after writing out that comment, the first sentence doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Feel free to omit it…

So is this one of the TF2 comics we’ve been waiting for? It’s a bit, you know, ugly and bad.

@Pentadact:
LOL!
This is because you didn’t do it!

(you = Christopher)

That comic is also a parody.
http://www.charlesatlas.com/classicads5.htm

So we’re complaining about jars of urine now? Is this what we’re reduced to?

Ok. Granted it is slapstick. Granted it is a gag weapon. You know what else is a gag weapon? A Sandvich. A Bottle of Booze. Boxing Gloves. A can of soda infused with radioactive isotopes. And yes, even an Axe wrapped in Barbed Wire that somehow does more damage to people on fire. I could go on. TF2 has never been about seriousness, and the humor has consistently skirted the lines of low-brow (”your mom” jokes, stereotypes, just about everything The Scout says when he’s Dominating, etc.). I see nothing wrong with this. As people said there are some who will use it and others who won’t. Much like the Sandman the novelty will wear off for some and it will be relegated to specialized uses and the very few who get a kick out of it enough to have it supplant the SMG (I’m guessing) in order to do limited spychecking and fire marshaling. Speaking as someone who has awaited the Sniper Update for a while, I have no problems with what they’ve given us. You can’t really improve on what the class is given anyway, and the Huntsman provides a new way to snipe, and that’s really all you need.

And as to the Spy needing another knife…what? Seriously it’s a knife that does exactly what it needs to. What are some people hoping for, an unlockable Trench Knife that brings back the facestabs? Pshaw says I.

I think Agent_Koopa nailed it. Piss by itself may be low-brow, but as described on the new update page: “…Jarate reveals its TRUE POWER: forcing your enemies to accept a terrifying new existence, where people do awful things to them ALL THE TIME for NO REASON and DIGNITY DOES NOT EXIST.” The buildup to it, in the video and the April Fool’s post helps out a lot too. Same with the Sandvich. It wouldn’t be anywhere near as funny without the videos. And… just wonder what the Jarate taunt might be…

Pentadact, I don’t think Valve ever promised some epic graphic novel. I think they’re parodying old comic books, which fits in with TF2’s setting.

And come on guys, this just sounds like a lot of grumbling. Valve is delivering 2 class updates simultaneously, plus new game mode and maps, not to mention the impeccable Meet the Spy, voluntarily and for free. I can safely say that I have been endlessly entertained by TF2, throughout insane pyro and heavy clusterfucks, and when being gunned down by shiny new unlockables. The game is too awesome to be upset by.

Saxton Hale is homosexual.

LET THE FLAME BEGIN.

People (also Chris). It says nowhere that it “packs more of a punch”. Stop using your wild imagination and use your eyes.

As for the Jarate, I have a couple of things to say.
The artstyle of the comics seems nice, but dosen’t seem to fit the TF2 style. I guess this is not a big complaint. It’s still ok.
The Jarate itself sounds kind of uninspired. It was a funny JOKE, with a reference to the Sniper’s urine during Meet the Sniper. It was all good and nice. As an actual weapon in the game, I mean, come on. A jar of piss? Is that what Valve can come up with?
As a weapon it sounds like the gimmiky crap the Sandman is and the Sandvich is out of Arena. 35% more damage? A quick melee hit would have done the same effect. Ruins Spy stuff? Why have an effect dedicated to only one class? Where is the balance? Puts down fire? The Sniper shouldn’t be so close to fire anyway, and it’s the Medic’s job anyway.

Jesus, you’re already getting two SMG unlocks for the Sniper. You can CHOOSE. Also this shit’s free, why are you complaining?

@Nonomu198

“Why have an effect dedicated to only one class?”

The Spy’s sapper only affects engineer buildings, so it’s not as if there isn’t precedent for something like this.

“35% more damage? A quick melee hit would have done the same effect.”

I believe this is where the “Team” in Team Fortress 2 comes in; if you’re out with your posse, 35% suddenly means a whole lot more.

“Puts down fire? The Sniper shouldn’t be so close to fire anyway…”

There’s a bigger chance he’ll run into pyros if he’s out with the Huntsman. I believe someone mentioned earlier this is probably a poor choice if you’ve got the standard rifle and up in a sniper deck.

“…and it’s the Medic’s job anyway.”

True, but the medic always seems to be the one that dies first right when everyone gets set on fire. This effect will probably fall under “I’ll be glad it does this the one time it ever comes in handy”, but if it really bugs you, take solace in that I can’t imagine this ever being its primary use.

I mean, even if he’s in a sniper deck, a pyro can always hit your buddy with a flare gun. Throw the jarate at him and he’ll be fine. I mean, I have to say, that it is a better unlock than the razorback. Anything would be better than the razorback. I mean, it’s not gonna stop backstabs, because the spies will just shoot you or find a sniper who doesn’t like the razorback because he thinks it’s stupid.

However, there will ALWAYS be the twelve year olds who are gonna laugh it up about the jarate, but that is what voteban is for. But it isn’t the core basis of the game, or its major selling point. If it was released back in 2007 with “BOTTLES OF PISS!” on the front, I wouldn’t've bought it. But we have to realize that jarate isn’t defining the game, the game is defining jarate. It is not descending us to the point of monkeys flingin’ crap around all over the cage. It is a weapon that could be used effectively and has a small humorous effect. Honestly, I think the community needs to grow up before VALVe does…

And people, we’re ignoring the lack of milestone markers this time. Does this mean unlocks are now not dependent on achievements now? And what of poor Stavros Xanthis? Will he ever escape BB gun, or become big president of Valve game company?

Also can’t understand the whine about Jarate being not funny or useless (although it’s completely hilarious with many purposes).

I want that bow.
And I can guess Pyro + airblast + flare gun will put many Snipers in a world of hurt. :)

I think that I can honestly say that neither of these two class updates is in the least bit interesting. I am looking forward to the double payload maps though.

I agree with everyone who says Jarate is not offensive.

The Sniper is Australian. Australians piss in jars. Hence the logical conclusion.

..and I’ve just noticed one of Sniper’s achievements is “Rode Hard, Put Away Wet”, tee hee.

I hate both of these classes, but Jarate has made me super-excited for this update. It makes me want to play sniper (my lowest played class). And thus it is doing what it is supposed to do.

You guys are aware that using jarate doesn’t actually make pee come out of your monitors, right? It’s fake-video-game pee.

Heh… At least it doesn’t paralyze people.
I was dreading this update since day 4 when spy was revealed…
there’s still the knife replacement missing….
However I hope that they won’t make a big deal out of it, and I also hope the people will forget about the spy and go for the sniper.
With too many spies you not only jeopardize your team’s win, but also your fellow spies.

Who cares if it’s immature.

We. Get . To . Throw. Pee. At. People.

It’s like all my dreams have come true, *sniff*

Jarate could be fun… if one has seen “Meet the sniper” and read those two advertisements. But seen only in the game it will probably only be confusing. Won’t somebody think of the non-hardcore fans?

The weapon might make somewhat more sense/be more fun if Valve focus more on the “Psychological damage” aspect, that is, have tons of funny voice responses for being hit.

Unbelieveable how many people are whining about an item that’s actual fairly useful. I guess it’s that it’s a jar of pee. If it was a jar of Australian Outback Witchcraft Water there’d be %80 less bitching going on.

Jarate’s awesome. I love Valve and I love TF2.

Jesus people, whine enough yet?

“Waaah, it’s a bottle of pee!” So what. It fits his character. It got a use. The joke of “lolol it’s pee” will wear off quickly and you’ll like its actual use more. Like other people have said, it isn’t any less lowbrow than ‘lol drunk scottish guy’ and ‘lol the spy did a yo mama joke’ and we have a motherlode of gag weapons on the game already. Get over it.

“Waaah, the comic is ugly!” That’s because it’s a GODDAMN PARODY OF A DIFFERENT COMIC. Read more Ubercharged.net.

“Waaah, the update doesn’t interest me in the least!” Well, only one person complained about that, but then expressed interest in Payload Race. Lol contradictions.

I am in the “you people are taking this way too seriously” camp.

Have a laugh, friends. I know I will, when I smack you with a jar on a server next week.

I wrote this comment simply because there are sooooo many comments of complaints. That’s so ironic! Cheers!

How do you know about the Doo Doo Detonator???

I actually liked the comic in the update a lot: it’s very reminiscent of Pinkerton’s work, of which I am a huge, huge fan. I have no problem with off-color humor. I just feel bringing that joke into the game is kinda lame.

I’m getting really tired of everyone complaining about how immature Jarate is.

Yeah, you’re totally right. It’s a slippery slope and soon every other update is going to be focused on bathroom jokes and crude humor. Jarate has nothing to do with the joke in the Meet the Sniper video and is completely unrelated to the sniper in every way. Valve’s just throwing in completely irrelevant items now! The fart jumping and doo doo detonator naturally follow! Remember all of those fart jokes in Meet the Soldier? And all of those poop jokes in Meet the Demoman? Good stuff!

Stop whining.

I absolutely lost it when i saw that Jarate was the next unlockable, and i will definitely crack up every time someone (including me) gets hit with a jar of piss. But beyond the comedic factor, I think this will be a useful addition to the battlefield. Especially if you’re using the Hunstman, you’ll be in the position to splash your golden shower in a jar all over a medic combo to help your team.

I love the new maps, the hunstman and jarate. I’m just a terrible spy, so I doubt I’ll even get the unlocks unless they change how we acquire them. I’m quite okay with that, too, since I’ll be spending most of my time trying to reach the point where I can spray bodily fluids all over my teammates and enemies.

I love valve!

Oh no! Jarate is soooo immature. Because, it’s not like any other part of Team Fortress 2 is childish. Every one of the nine characters are paragons of restraint and courtesy, right?

Jesus, listen to you people. You’d think Valve took a big old piss in your mouth or something.

Personally, I love the idea, sure it’s a bit immature. But it’ll be a genuinely useful item for teams of randoms (medic covers the fire extinguishing and huntsman can be covered by other classes for pro teams) but for your average team it’ll be a good addition, especially with all the pyros that’ll be floating around after the update.

People will be glad to have a piss-flinging sniper to extinguish them and hit medic-heavies,… I hope.

Anyway, let us see what happens before we all panic.

Jarate seems to fit with the Snipers character. Very efficient using readily available bodily fluid to put out a flaming friendly or short out that jerk Spy’s cloak.

Politeness is for the ones you’ve killed, not the ones trying to kill you.

I swear, more people are complaining about Jarate being a jar of piss than about the admittedly justified Sandman stun.(I don’t mind either, though)

In the list of things the sniper urine will do, you forgot to mention that it also lessens the pain of jellyfish stings.

It’s odd that they haven’t announced the other unlockables for the spy (ie his melee and alt weapons). Plus, as Chris mentioned, there’re no milestone achievements. Something new ahoy?

The sniper fumbles around for his kukri in “Meet the Spy”…what if it had been one of his urine jars instead?
I’m a little disappointed that it doesn’t say he can use it to put himself out, a la some ridiculous wilderness survival program.

Oh, I agree with you there, Christopher. It kind of brings the tone of the game down. After all, psychological effects don’t actually take hold of your hapless urine-drenched opponent. In-game, you lose the tongue-in-cheek attitude of the update pages. It’s frankly less awesome when you realize that at the end of the day, you’re just using your urine as a weapon.

If they add some extra voice lines expressing horror for each class, I’ll be a little impressed

Haha, whenver I get hit by a jar of piss I’ll ragequit any server.

Also, guys, IT’S LEGIT:
http://img198.imageshack.us/img198/4189/legite.png

Damn it, Jarate lovers. Stop whining about whining. I mean, hell. There are more comments saying the exact same thing about how stupid the arguments against it are than people actually using these arguments.

@Don
If a person is stupid enough to get near me in melee range I kukri the crap out of him in 3 sconds. Playing as a part of a “Team” in “Team” Fortress 2, a Kukri hit would probably take 35% of the enemy’s health anyway.
And as a guy playing mostly playing arena, my range dosen’t get really far from the enemy, and he can easly come to me. I don’t think I would need to get any closer with the Huntsman. And let me tell you, even so, I still shouldn’t be close to fire. Well, I’ll give the Jarate some credit though; I do get some burning teammates runing twards me.

@Tyk-Tok
There never were milestone markers released with update inormation pages, I think. They did however say “first weapon” “second weapon”. Feel free to research.

@namako
The only slots on the selection screen are Primary (revolver), Secondary (Sapper), and Cloack Watch (which is for some reason the disguise kit with a broken pose). So the weapon unlocks will probably be: Primary (Ambassador) Secondary (Dead Ringer) Cloack Watch (Cloack & Dagger). Valve might surprise us, though.

I doubt the Ringer replaces the Sapper. Kind of defeats a large purpose of the Spy.

Why would the spy even need a weapon to replace his knife? It would most likely just serve the same purpose anyway: backstabs. If they took that away it would take a huge part of the spy with it. The only thing they could do to the knife would be something subtle and useless, like have it swing 25% faster.

I mean, it’d be like if they took the Heavy’s minigun and released a new one that had no significant changes and played exactly the same, if not worse, on the battlefield. … Oh wait.

God I love TF2. Now it’s the only game where you can say in a serious tone, “Dammit! I got hit with a jar of piss! I’d better hide over here and eat my sandvich before that scout bonks me!”

@Robot Bread: They could have some bonus on damage/backstabs, with a reduced backstab angle or something

Um, Nonomu, Jarate doesn’t DO damage. It INCREASES damage taken by 35%. It’s really not the same thing. Former hurts you directly, latter makes you considerably more fragile in general. With this in mind, when faced with an enemy in situations where nobody else is close enough to help you in time, it might be better to splash your opponent right off the bat, then proceed to pull out the SMG (assuming Jarate replaces the Kukri) and unload your clip (it does have to reload, right? I can’t remember) into his/her stomach. The increased damage should allow the SMG to make quick work of him/her, and if not, at least your allies will be able to finish him/her off pretty quickly.

At any rate, this is going to be the first game (well, that I know of) to have a jar of pee that you could reasonably incorporate into your normal playstyle without losing any of your usefulness for it.

Hm, did steam just completely die for anyone else?

@Nonomu

I never said using Jarate instead of your kukri when within melee range is a good idea. What I was saying is, assuming you can throw your jar of piss a fair distance, that if you can see someone coming at you and you’ve got teammates who are going to intercept him, using it means your teammates will have an easier time. That’s where the “team” comes in. Now, nobody knows which unlock this is replacing, so I don’t understand where this “Jarate as a replacement for the kukri in melee range” idea is coming from.

All this reading has got me really wanting to play TF2 but I got a mac so can I still get it for that?

Edit:

Well guys you can now argue in the game. The update has landed.

The update has landed.

Do you have an intel mac?

http://www.codeweavers.com/products/cxgames/

I use that; works great.

Second Edit:

Even better news, if the update news is correct, the kurki has no replacement, both jarate and the razorback replace the SMG

@Christoper:

Broke mine too, but it rebounded :3

It’s taking a long time. And isn’t exactly stable.

hm, nobody is going to be able to play tonight probably; I.E “Steam servers are currently too busy”

Hurray the download speed is at it’s normal delicious high rate of 575ish kB/s.

MAYBE WE’LL GET TO PLAY TONIGHT AFTER ALL?!!?

Hmm no Kukri replacement… the Jarate and Razorback are both SMG replacements.

Told ya :3

Hey, lookie, it broke mine too!

Oh thank god, both sniper unlocks replace the SMG. Now I don’t sound like a complete idiot.

Chris, the comic is a parody of an old comic done by Charles Atlas. I’m not sure who this Pinkerton fellow is you’re referencing, but out of curiosity, who is he?

Sounds like a taunt kill for the Spy.
The Man from P.U.N.C.T.U.R.E.: Stab an enemy while fencing.

Random Unlocks: Fucking Fail.

Chris abandons 1fort because he never talks about Team Fortress 2 anymore; now has page full of Team Fortress 2 stories and nothing else on his non-TF2 site. It’s like rain on your wedding day, no?

@Alphahawkp
“Demomen can now detonate their stickies while taunting”
And many other things non related to the Spy-Sniper stuff. This update is full of win, nevermind how much it screws the weapon system.

I wasn’t bashing the update, just that particular part of the update. I like all the new stuff, save the randomness…I mean come on, I played for 4 hours and only got the cloak and dagger -_-

@Alphahawkp
The random drops definitely are fail, especially when you get weapons that you already have. And the achievements are so much better designed than the Scout ones. I already have 6 or 7 of each without really trying in a couple of hours.

Uh huh….all I have to say is that I hope the next random unlock I get is the ambassador…oh and isn’t that kind of unfair how about half the sniper achievements require the unlocks? Oh well, time to call valve a fag. I mean, that works right?

Random unlocks… this means I may finally get a can of Bonk! Woo. Go me. I can’t wait.

“Flamethrower’s air burst now extinguishes fire on friendly targets”

That’s exactly what I’ve been hoping for ever since the Pyro got the air burst. Thank you, Valve!

And Jarate and the Razorback both appear to replace the SMG. A typo?

The Dead Ringer is utterly useless. Not only you have to hold it in hand for it to work, it also does a stupid sound when you uncloak behind your enemy’s back, opting them to immediately turn before you decloak fully to enable a backstab.

I really enjoyed the update with the hour of playtime I got on the new maps and with other pople using the new weapons. I do, however, wish to know if there was some method to the madness that is random item finds - I’d imagine there is - and why you can find things you already have (I’m assuming that’s a bug, since there’s no rational reason for that).

lol

That’s it. I officially hate Valve and Team Fortress 2. RANDOM DROPS IS COMPLETE FUCKING FAIL! I played for an hour and couldn’t get a single weapon. I have even killed a Sniper holding the Huntsman,picked it up,and nothing happened.

What’s the point in new content if you can’t even acsses it?!

That is why it’s called RANDOM. Get over it.

I’m pretty sure the regular achievement unlock system still works. So go get some achievements and quit whining about it.

… played for an hour… pathetic.

almost forgot.

The random unlocks are awesome!

Is it just me, or does almost every server require a password now?

Also, have had exams today, and am going on holiday tonight, so no TF2 for me until Tuesday - hopefully the rush for the random drops will have died down by then.

@octanehugo it’s probably so people who decided not to farm achievements, but still haven’t unlocked the weapons can finally unlock them, I still don’t have any of the medic unlocks.

simpunzle,SHUT THE FUCK UP. This new “random drop” system is ridiculous. We don’t have guaranteed method of getting unlocks anymore. Achievements isn’t tied to unlocks now,and i can’t just rely on this fucking “random drops”.

You know I think valve have a minimum fail count they need to have for everything they release nowadays for tf2.
Random drop would be acceptable IF IT WASN’T COMPLETELY FUCKING RANDOM.
Why couldn’t it be like the higher a character has a score in a server the higher the more likely they’ll get a weapon for their class only, and only if THEY DON’T FUCKING HAVE THE WEAPON.
I have 6 backburners in my inventory when all I want is a god damn bottle of piss.
Although I would still prefer the achievement system no matter what, but whatever.

@ Jmbob: No, I mean, if you have a Sandman you can “find” a Sandman. It should only happen for people who don’t have it - that’s my issue.

I’ve been playing for a few hours now, one drop, which I already have. I was a bit annoyed, then I realised that I was really having a lot of fun, far more than normal. I was cutting swathes through the enemy teams as a no-scope assault sniper (heh, I know. But it works so well).

The achievements are fun, the new weapons are fun to play against and in general, a really good update.

At least let the drops be from people we steal them from. This system is ridiculous…

Ironic how people complained about the achievement system, and now when Valve implements a new system they still complain…then again I haven’t played enough of the new update to judge, but it still seems ridiculous that it happens.

Knocked up a quick new TF2 wall-paper for myself,

http://www.vulomedia.com/images/91372Untitled23copffycopy.jpg

@Lack_26 I have to agree. It got a little annoying seeing other people get the unlocks. After you accept it and move on (Kelloga) it’s much more relaxing. You just play.

Also, I stole your wallpaper. Nice.

All the new improvements look really good. Except for some shadow funkyness and the lag of so many people messing with my backstabbyness.

It’s even better that you can get the items playing as any class. I got duplicates of several items for other classes playing as a Spy.

@Kollega You really do whine a lot.

To everyone complaining about the new unlock system: Apparently, something broke and the unlocks aren’t being handed out right/often enough. See here

@Konork:
Oh thank god.
For a second I had lost all love for valve.
Now if they could fix the bug. :<

I’m so glad for the new unlock system.

I finally got the Sandvich! *glee!*

Lemme say: I got Jarate, and it fucking rules. It’s actually very useful, and hilarious. :D

The Butterfly Knife’s taunt can now kill people/buildings. The Spy can taunt while cloaked. The Spy can cloak, walk up to a level 3 Sentry, knife taunt, and destroy it.

Inb4 fix

Valve should let us take those duplicate weapons and cash them in for points to unlock useful new stuff.

Damn communist random drops sappin’ mah fun. Seriosly.

Did any of you guys get a cosmetic hat? I myself have only heard about it. Only got the Huntsman, Razorback (got them both in about an hour and a half of play) and an extra pair of the K.G.B. (after two more hours of play). For some reason, everyone seemed to get a lot less drops. I must say I utterly hate the drop system; spec people getting weapons, a buddy of mine got 10 (yes. 10.) old weapons he already had and no new weapon. It is horrible. Hopefully Valve will fix it.

I really enjoy the Huntsman/Razorback combination. You go around shooting people with this so hard to aim peice of crap, get arrow-head-shots, and don’t have to worry about your back.

My first post here, I am… just shocked, completely disappointed, I`ve been playing for 6 hours, did over 20 spy achievements, and all got I got 3 ubersaws and second pair of box gloves… I don`t know what to say… thanks Valve.

TF2 Blog has been updated. Also, they added page 9 of the spy update with a picture of
THE FRO!!!

And yes they are going to add item trading (and stuff)

Grrr. Last night, I got Natascha after an hour of playing. Today, after nearly four hours, I’ve gotten nothing. I have every Medic, Heavy, and Pyro unlock, but none for the Scout, Sniper, or Spy. If unlock trading isn’t in place, why allow it to give unlocks we already have? I’m one of the biggest apologists for Valve you’ll find, but it’s ridiculous to drop something this big on players without an explanation. And I don’t even oppose the item drops on principle: it’s a direction that will make the game more open to new players, and cut down on grinding. But maybe somebody should give Robin the power to fire people in light of how poorly it’s executed.

/rant

Someone should give him the power to hire people too.
Also, there is a new TF2 update.

Completly retarded drop system. So you spend forever designing balanced weapons that wont be overpowered, you get us excited the whole week about those weapons and now we have to play a ridiculous number of hours before we can even use them. Way to go Valve. Give me back the old 1hr grind on achievement servers anytime over this crap. Or better yet, JUST GIVE US THE DAMN WEAPONS, THIS ISNT WoW!

Has anyone seen the Spy’s new disguise kit taunt?

It’s awesome.

“Fixed cloaked Spies being able to taunt attack”
Wow, Valve is fast.

Anyone get a hat yet?

No, I went on the TF2 forums to ask but it’s pretty much just threads being made every 3 seconds consisting of people bitching about the update.

Meanwhile, those of us who like it stick to playing TF2 and having fun.

I would like to have fun too, but my TF2 just updated and now I can’t play thanks to some water_dx80 error.

I have the water error too. Until it is fixed, just find a server that doesn’t care.

@Valve, which reads this: FIX THE DARN ERROR!!!

It isn’t poorly executed. There’s just a bug.

You’ll live without having every single weapon in half an hour. Cry some more.

Based on my calculations, AFTER VALVe fixes the unlock timing bug, the interval between unlockss should be 6 min * the number of hours the average tf2 player plays each week.

The water error isn’t Valve’s fault. Verify your local cache. Head to the Steam properties menu for TF2, go to the Local Files tab, and click the Verify button

I did.
Didn’t do jack.

My take: Valve, for some reason, can’t tell a good joke and leave it told. All the funniest moments from the Meet The videos have to be endlessly repeated in achievements, unlockables, what have you. Kind of a shame.

Once you get past the “zomg piss roflcocks” aspect of jarate, it’s actually a fun weapon to use. The range is pretty long, it has a decent radius, and with some practice you can practically snipe with it, and it does actually turn the tide quite quickly if the enemy is massed (like on payload maps). The large radius also makes it pretty useful if you see a spy flicker or you suspect a dead ringer as it seems to mess up their camouflage.

I honestly believe the problem the author has with the ‘Piss Jar’ unlockable was that he was so wrong about it. He was so very certain that it was just an April Fools joke and that thinking otherwise would be ever so silly.

He seems so full of himself sometimes. I dont recall where I read this but he actually said that he believes he has a decent amount of pull with Valve. While Im pretty sure he wasnt so… Direct about it, he still said it. He drops little suggestions to Valve with such an incredible certainty that they will be heard and sincerely considered. Granted, I am sure Valve employees know of him and do listen to their fans, but still. Youre not anyone special pal! You wrote one comic, albeit a funny one, and now youve completely deluded yourself into believing you are someone of any importance. Get over yourself!

@Stupid:

Leave. Now.

Boys, looks like we got ourselves a hater. Get the pitchforks and thatch.

I’ll bring the torches.

I love the smell of flaming troll in the morning.

Indeed. Before I am crucified for my blasphemy, I would just like to say that I do believe he is a good writer as well as a funny man. Make no mistake about it. However, I am under the impression that his little 15 minutes of fame has gone completely to his head. Granted, he does have a cult following, and rightly so. Its just that, I believe, before he was in it to express his love for gaming and now, after his interweb fame, he is doing it because he believes he is someone of importance whose voice we must all obide.

@stupid

I agree with you totally. All he does is whine anyway.

I don’t find him homosexual enough.

Eh, not so much. It was a simple joke about how responsive Valve can be to the community’s ideas and requests: in fact, I think Chris was playing off of Tom Francis/Pentadact’s running gag about game developers constantly proving him to be right/psychic (Diablo 3 being the big announcement at last year’s BlizzCon; one of the Pyro’s unlocks being an ax that always crits on burning enemies but only does half damage on non-burning ones; etc.). I put the link to the Blizzard one in my name; there are others about Relic and the American public proving him correct, and one more about Valve begging him to think of new Heavy unlocks.

Got 3 drops, and luckily only had one. I’m really liking the Huntsman.

Guys, I just thought of a hilarious name for a porn site:

TWATTER!

I think you’ll all stop whining if you read the announcement that they’re going to allow you to pick which classes unlocks you wish to earn, just the update was so big they didn’t have time to impliment it. The unlock rate is a bug, where they f’ed up a bit with unlocks not been given at a correct rate.

Also, I enjoy TF2 but never tried getting achievements so was left with one or perhaps two or no weapon unlocks per class. So yes it takes away the one game that actually had achievements as important, but if you’re not a grinder it’s a joy (apart from too many duplicates).

Man, it’s not like the pricing in CS:S update for badness, at the moment it’s broken but they’ve announced it’s getting fixed so hold your poo flinging for when they’ve done that. This TF2 update just has me shocked how it’s bringing out sides of people I thought they’d be above.

Has the xbox live fanbase infected this update or something? With angry internet men abound? To add to the craziness, Chris is humourless about a little cheeky valve humour involving excretion as it’s too lame suddenly?

What’s happening to this once safe haven of the internets?!

@stupid:

First, I don’t have any pull with Valve and I’m aware of it; any suggestion I’ve made that they listen to me have been tongue-in-cheek. If you think I’m full of myself, you really haven’t read much of my stuff, or at least haven’t read it very carefully.

My disappointment with the piss jars aren’t don’t have anything to do with me being wrong, it’s just that I think piss humor is a little easy, and I think they could do better in this particular case. It worked in the movie as a clever background gag, but when put front and center it just seems a bit cheap.

Despite being something of a piss joke, Jarate is [i]fun[/i]. I’ve found it to be sort of like Boomer Bile because everyone targets that one person for the increased damage.

I think it’s even more like boomer bile when you get hit, your screen goes yellow and does a slight wavy thing. Same dynamic too, try to get as many people as people so that your teammates can be more effective; perhaps that’s why it’s so fun.

I kinda agree that piss humor is a bit low-brow after all the more subtle jokes they’ve gone with in the past, but I find that it doesn’t bother me as much as I thought it would because it’s pretty downplayed. No voice seems to go “taste my urine!” when you use it, it’s called “jarate” of all the things they could have gone with, and it has some weird unearthly glow when you hold it in first person that makes you forget you’re holding a jar of piss.
That, and it’s got an achievement named “Rode Hard and Put Away Wet” which cracked me up when I got it.
I still wish they’d gone with something else, but as far as functionality goes, it’s a great addition.

I just hope the next update comes soon.

@EGTE:

Reason: You fuck with the achievements, you fuck with the beast.

It’s scary D:

FUCKING UNLOCK SYSTEM. That’s all I have to say about this!

You know, I kind of like the new system. For once, I haven’t just farmed all the unlocks as soon as the update came out. However, it does need some adjustment. For example, I think the amount of acheivements you have for a particular class should increase the percentage chance of finding stuff for that class, as should your kill count, assist count, etc.
Just a thought.

@EGTE

I know it’s scary, it’s the same over at RPS. People are getting angry when they used to be civil. I’m holed up in a corner-shop, I have food and supplies. Calling any sane people.

@Lack_26

I am broadcasting on all AM frequencies.

I like the new system, it just needs tweaking so the finds are more frequent.

THIS IS SRS BZNS.

New system is amazing. Quit BAWWWWWWing.

@Chris

Atleast you got the Ambassador :’(

Yey, 14 hours later I finally got something… the Sandvich, which I already have.

See, I’d like to clarify something that may have gotten lost in my post: I like the idea of this new system. I have some friends who just got into it, and they’re eager for some new weapons. What I don’t like is that there is no visible metric for how you get the unlocks. I would have preferred that the random drops be implemented WITHOUT removing the option to get them through achievements, so neither the casual or hardcore players are marginalized. I read a comment somewhere else that sums the current system up perfectly: we’re still jumping through hoops, but now the hoops are invisible.

Also, what’s changed, you ask? I found the Cloak and Dagger last night. The Spy is now a class I can play while still being useful to my team.

Without wanting to sound like a dick about it. I have got a) BONK and b) the football helmet this weekend none of which I had had. Football helment is very cool and incites everyone to shoot me, my team included! Looking at the latest post on tf2.com it would appear that I am getting unlocks probably because I have played 20 - 30 hours in the last two weeks leading up to the update. So I am not surprised that others of you who havent played are missing out.

at least the old achievement unlocks still work, so I can get the scout items I missed the legit (read: farming) way. in the meantime I just have to wait for my shiny new spy items. I want that cloak and dagger so badly…

To be fair, I’m pretty sure the Ambassador is completely broken. From what I can tell, the headshot crits now do little more damage than the revolver.

Don’t like the new system yet, but if this happens every 10, 20 minutes it’ll be fine in the end, and trading will allow people to give their friends who are new to the game all the right weapons from the get go. Some kind of thing where you give the system 2 or 3 weapons and get one weapon of your choosing wouldn’t be bad either.

“To be fair, I’m pretty sure the Ambassador is completely broken. From what I can tell, the headshot crits now do little more damage than the revolver.”

I keep hearing this too. Haven’t gotten to try it out myself just yet (Rage) But everyone says after they fixed the exploits with it, it was “nerfed”

=/

Yep, Ambassador is pretty much useless right now.

It’s only + side is it’s no falloff if you get a headshot, and it’s hardly good enough to choose it over the magnum.

I was hoping for a kind of thing that would reward players skilled with it more damage, at longer range, though slightly slower.

Instead we get worse damage, at long range, that is slower.

I have to say that I’m a member of the “don’t like the new unlock system” camp. So far, it’s been relatively good to me. In the few hours I’ve played the unlocks I’ve found are:
1 ubersaw
1 flare gun
1 KGB
1 ambassador
1 dead ringer

So yeah, I’ve been pretty lucky. But considering that one of my steam friends got 5 backburners before his first new unlock (jarate), I suspect I’m going to have a dry spell before I find something new.

I appreciate that the upside of the new system means you don’t actually have to play the class in order to get its unlocks; I’m assuming this was done to minimize the [insert class here] mania one sees when a new pack comes out. In this regard it has failed - just about every team I’ve played on has been heavily stacked with spies and snipers, leading to the same hair-pulling frustration we all experience the first week a class pack is released.

This system might have worked if it had been implemented from the start, but for them to introduce it this late is just lunacy. And item trading is just plain dumb. The old unlocks have virtually zero trade value for two reasons:

i) The majority of players already have said items
ii) The old unlocks can still be earned through achievements

The only thing I can think of that could potentially salvage this system is to implement a looting system, i.e. you can earn unlockables by picking them up off the battlefield. Honestly, I don’t understand why people complained so much about unlocks being tied to achievements. Yes, the medic achievements were challenging, but ever since the medic pack the achievements have, for the most part, been about as easy as falling over. As a rather devoted Heavy player, I found only one Heavy achievement actually worth getting legitimately (Big Pharma, which I did thanks to an awesome kritzkrieg medic).

As for the other heavy achievements, I didn’t bother grinding them. I didn’t need to! About 5 or 6 hours of regular gameplay was enough for me to have all 3 items in the bag. I can foresee it taking a lot longer for me to get the spy/sniper gear.

The new system is BAD. Even farming achievements were and felt like working (sometimes work work, sometimes fun-game-work) to achieve the weapons. The new system takes away all control from you and decides for you, and without any criteria. I’m not all extremely pissed at this, but I think this is a BAD move that can’t ever become good however it’s tweaked. It even apparantly discriminates dedicated fans (I heard we [the dedicated fans who play and played a lot of TF2] have less chance to get weapons, never verified that information though. Not to mention we get duplicates).

Actually, it’s those who have played a lot are more likely to get more items, faster.

Which is a wee bit annoying considering i have over 72 hours of total play time for the Spy and around 50 hours total play time for the sniper on the Xbox 360 version of the game, but only have around 5 hours play time on all classes on the PC version.

Oh well, when VALVe finally update the 360 version it should hopefully be a bit easier for me to earn achievements.

Welp, I hate the new unlock system so much. I did that idling thing, and got 10 Nataschas.

I like the idea of getting stuff randomly by ‘playing’ the game rather than grinding away for extended periods on achievement servers.

The new system is god awful and incredibly frustrating. There’s really no reason why you cant unlock weaps thru achieves along with the new drop system.

yes, but the problem arises when you a) don’t get stuff at all or b) get a dozen duplicates
not to mention a career spy has no use for sniper unlocks for example.

assuming the amount of time between unlock checks is lowered, the trading system implemented, getting duplicates is removed, a system in which you work towards specific items added or even just a system where playing as a class means you have a higher chance of unlocking that class’ weapons is also added then theoretically it could be an acceptable system, but as it stands it’s broken and annoying beyond all reason

I wouldn’t say duplicates should be removed exactly, just a cap at 2. That way you can give all your spares to a friend new to TF2.

All though, if they were to put a cap at one copy, then you could have a system where you traded two weapons, ones you don’t like presumably, for a new one with the system itself.

I have a problem. What to do when you try to start a game, and EVERY time it says:

Source Warning: Only one instance of the game can be running at a time.

Mind you, I have nothing else on. Completely reinstalling steam did nothing…*Sigh* what the fuck?

Um, hacked account maybe?

Nah, I keep everything secure.

I would say change your password regardless, and check you computer for spy-ware, just to be safe.

ctrl+alt+del, lol.

Restart your computer, virus scan, etc. etc.

…Did you try opening task manager and looking for a hl2 application and killing it?

I would recommend a password change aswell, if that fails e-mail valve customer support, I’m sure they’ll know what to do.

Haven’t gotten shit. Absolutely nothing.

Initially, I disliked the Jarate because it was a dumb joke.

Now that I’ve actually seen it in-game, however, I HATE it because every time I’m hit with it, my game hangs to load the graphics filter.

Medics who stand still for half a second with 35 percent extra damage do not last very long.

@Killa-Ewok

I know how you feel, 8 hours of play today and i get jack shit, then i get in a game with this stupid child whining because he hasn’t got the Cloak and Dagger and wants it to complete the set.

Almost makes me want to cheat. Almost.

@DD:

Turn your settings down, then. If they’ set to low, then update your drivers. If those are updated, clean up your computer and get it running better. If your computer is running as well as it can, but a new one. >_>

I just got a scout helmet. The entire update system is forgiven.

@nomu:

Tried it, wouldn’t let me.

This system is terrible and should never have been released in this state.
1. I haven’t played the game in months and the #1 thing I want is to try playing with the Cloak and Dagger. There is absolutely no way for me to even increase the chance of getting it in any way. This makes me want to play the game LESS. Every time I get some other item, I want to punch something. Every time I get an unlock I already have, I want that something to be a Valve employee’s child.
2. All of the above could be fixed just by letting me choose at least which CLASS the random unlock will be for. And I can’t think of ANY reason for them to not just let me PICK what unlock I want. Is either of those really that hard?
3. Granting you items you already have while there are still items you don’t have, EVER, should be punishable by death and/or having your children punched.
4. They did this partly because they wanted servers to not be flooded with that class on release weekend. FAIL. People are STILL overplaying Spy and Sniper, because they want the achievements and to try out the new items (if they’ve been lucky enough to randomly get them), or because they don’t yet realize there IS a new system and are getting achievements because they think they’ll unlock items like EVERY OTHER RELEASE BEFORE THIS ONE. (Unless they visit the TF2 blog, how are they supposed to know otherwise?) Someone earned another punched child for this failure.
5. They wanted people to not have to do “weird things” like achievement grind servers. Everyone is idling, often on servers that people are trying to actually play on. This is actually WORSE than achievement servers. Another failure, another punched child. Oh, look at that, it’s a baby this time. Way to go Valve.

CHeck your update logs, the Ambassador now does full crits on headshots.

The Ambassador now does full critical hits on headshots, instead of mini crits

The Dead Ringer now fully drains the cloak meter, even if the Spy leaves cloak early

Fixed Spy disguise menu not being visible in HUD minimal mode

Server log improvements:

Added “player_extinguish” event for servers to log when a Pyro extinguishes flame with the airburst

Fixed kill descriptions for Force-A-Nature & Sandman, so server logs can distinguish them

Identified feign deaths in the events sent to server logs

Fixed server crash related to the Jarate

@IQ:

Use brass knuckles tex.

So, with the end of the update, we return to posts once every four weeks.

I’m not going to buy a new computer for Jarate. The very idea is ludicrous.

Found this joke (among others) on the Steam TF2 forum:

Whats the difference between Jarate and Valve’s unlock system?
The jar.

@Urh

That is awesome.

Now I’m off to play evil genius forever. Think TF2 spliced with theme park world where you’re an evil villain from a 60’s spy film. It’s as awesome as it sounds.

Also, is Chris going to do a post covering how shite the new unlock system is? Or is he so angry he can’t put fingers to keyboard?

Or is he just being a lazy bugger again.

200 comments,and no new post. Chris is dead again?

Also,201th.

@Kol:

Just call him a name or make fun of his writing, should get him to wake up :P

(Second, sorry)

Then again, he DOES have a real life to participate in. What with fighting the evil HR manager, and stealthily avoiding the girl at the front desk and other meetings.

@ DD:
That last part was a bit in jest, but if you have a computer bad enough that it’s running in top shape and freezes because of Jarate, TF2 can’t run well in the first place. :P

Fuck you guys. I seriously have seven sandviches!

SEVEN!!!

Om nom nom

Finally got my Huntsman! And the random number generator, seemingly taking pity on me, has also awarded me with a Trophy Belt (Sniper Hat)!

…Anyone have a Pyro or Medic hat to trade?

Wait - they’re giving away hats now?
*runs off to join an idle server*

It’s been a long week, and no new posts? QQ

What’s the medic’s hat?

http://tf2wiki.net/wiki/Prussian_pickelhaube

Gah, 12 hours of play and 20-ish hours of idling and nothing, nada, squit, jack shit, nought, other words that mean nothing.

This is pissing me right the fuck off.

@Kollega

Check Chris’ twitter - he doesn’t seem to be too pleased with the drop system too.