Me at the GDC, gently pushing my way through the nerdthrong so as to avoid them dropping their laptops.
So. I attended the GDC in San Francisco a couple weeks ago, just for the final day. It was neat, though most of it was miles above my tiny brain. I didn’t think I’d get a lot out of seminars titled “Self-Limited Rigging Methodology Used in of God of War” and “Authoring Runtime Animation and Character Physics with Morpheme 2.0″, but I wanted to attend a couple talks on careers in the gaming industry. Namely, the keynote address given by Fallout 3’s Emil Pagliarulo titled “Unlikely Beginnings: Fallout 3’s Lead Designer on his Path into the Game Industry”. That’s the whole reason I went.
And, well, it wasn’t very good. It was sort of vague, and he really didn’t seem to have a lot prepared: it wasn’t so much an address as sort of a general Q&A that mainly wound up covering what it’s like to be a Lead Designer rather than how one becomes a Lead Designer, and not even that information was presented very well.
Luckily, my trip was salvaged by attending “100 Questions, 97 Answers, 56 Minutes”, a presentation given by Brenda Brathwaite. I’d never actually heard of her before the talk, but she was great — incredibly funny, knowledgeable, interesting, sarcastic, and full of great, useful information. If you ever get a chance to hear her speak I really recommend it.
It was also nice to meet a reader named Chris, who was volunteering there and tracked me down via Twitter. Everyone will be glad to know he asked me when I was going to do another Nondrick update. I guess I can’t escape my responsibility to my Oblivion blog, even while on vacation, so I hereby promise an update sometime in April. Okay? OKAY? You fucking vultures.
Now, to some game stuff! I bought Assassin’s Creed while it was on sale, and have been playing it in fits and starts. I haven’t gotten too far in it yet, so this isn’t a review, just some early impressions of what appears to be a beautiful, engrossing game with fantastic design, great game mechanics, and fluid animation — and yet is also one of the most bizarrely uneven and annoying games I’ve played in a while.
Pretty.
First, the story as I understand it so far: I’m an assassin in the future who some scientists have kidnapped so they can make me relive the memories of an ancestor of mine, named Altair, who was also an assassin. They bring me to a lab (where they trust me, an assassin, to wander around freely for some reason) and plug me into a machine periodically that lets me access Altair’s memories and walk around in his shoes.
Your first time in the machine, the titular assassin’s creed is explained to you: don’t kill innocents, don’t stand out from the crowd, don’t betray the brotherhood. Then, you’re forced to watch as Altair immediately and stupidly breaks all three. So, right off the bat, you’re a terrible assassin, even though it’s not your fault. The Boss Assassin (who runs an entire castle full of assassins — seriously, the assassin-to-civilian ratio in this game is like 1:4), gets all pissed off and takes away all the weapons and moves you just started to play with. Which is weird — the game teaches you all the cool stuff you can do, and then yoinks it all away from you through no fault of your own.
It’s a strange way to start — teaching you a bunch of things and then limiting your access to them. And for a game that gives you a lot of freedom to run around on your own, it’s annoying to watch as your character fucks up so completely right off the bat. Did they not trust me to fuck things up myself? I totally would have. I suck at games like this.
Stripped of my cool shit through no fault of my own? That's a paddlin'.
Why do it that way at all? Why not give me the choice at some point — some mission where I could choose to break the rules of the creed based on the events unfolding in front of me, maybe some situation where breaking the rules was simply the best path to take? Or hell, even some mission where I’m tricked into breaking them by one of the other hundreds of assassins wandering around. Again, I’m not too far in, so maybe something like this happens. I just object to having actions forced on me, I guess.
Since you’re technically not living Altair’s life, just experiencing his memories in a machine, the game considerately skips ahead sometimes: for example, after completing a mission in a distant city, it’ll spare you the boredom of having you make the return trip. It just fast-forwards the memory and you’re back at Assassin Corp. But then, when you start a new mission, it makes you ride on horseback to whatever city the next mission is in. Couldn’t they fast-forward that trip, too? I mean, the horseback riding isn’t awful, it’s just seems entirely pointless. My current saved game is at the start of a new mission, and the only reason I’m not playing it right now is I don’t feel like riding the goddamn horse to the next goddamn city.
Speaking of starting the game, let’s talk about exiting the game, which is perhaps the most annoying thing of all. If you’re ready to quit the game for the night, well, pack a lunch. First, you quit the game: which means, leaving the memory machine and waking up in the lab. Then, you quit the lab, meaning you’re back in your profile. Then, you quit the profile, and you’re back at the main menu. Then, and only then, do you quit the game. That’s four friggin’ steps just to get on with your life. Every time I finally manage to quit a game, I sort of expect the doorbell to ring and a Ubisoft employee to be standing on my porch, wide-eyed with concern, asking if I’m really ready to stop playing. I am.
This is me, hiding from Ubisoft in a pile of hay after trying to quit the game. They are really insistent that you do no such thing.
Still. There’s a lot to enjoy in Assassin’s Creed, especially the whole free-running aspect of the game. Whenever I enter a new city, I just walk around, exploring, icing random guards until someone catches on, then run like hell — the very best part of the game so far. Fleeing through the crowded streets, guards on my heels, knocking people over, climbing over walls, tightrope-walking over beams, leaping off rooftops, tumbling down stairs, rounding corners, frantically searching for a hiding place, finding one, watching the guards slowly give up, then blending back in with the crowd… it’s just a hell of a lot of fun. I wish there was more of that directly related to the missions I’ve played so far — I’ve only done a few, but they’ve been mostly the same: track down a dude, eavesdrop on a conversation, beat up someone in an alley for information, find your mark, stab once, return to Assassin-Mart.
BOY WE SURE ARE ALL SCHOLARS AND NOT ASSASSINS HUH FELLAS?
Well, most of that was gripes, but I’m still hanging in there and want to keep playing. Every game has its little niggles, but the problems I’m finding in Assassin’s Creed are especially regretful because there’s so much to like about the game. Feels like if they’d put a little more thought into it, it really could have been something great.
My autoaxe is named "Man Opener". It is true to its name.
I also finally picked up The Pitt for Fallout 3 — I imagine I’ll have something to say about it soon. So far, I’m enjoying it.
Finally, congrats to my pal Zompist, who accomplished a feat in Left 4 Dead that only 3.7% of players have: beating all four campaigns on Expert. I never in a million years would have pegged Zomp as a hardcore FPS player, but he clearly is.
That’s it for now — sorry about the lack of content this past week, and sorry the comments were locked — they get autolocked after a seven days and I’d forgotten about that. My bad.
56 Comments
April 5, 2009
I quite liked Assasin’s creed myself, it had a nice mix of pre-mixed story and freedom. The gameplay was excellent, but I did notice the exit system that took a good minute to use. Also the BLEEPING drove me insane. I mean it was bearable in the city but on horse back I was still exposed a good couple of kilometres away. Then I hide in a pile of hay, not because there was anyone around but to make the VOICES STOP.
Other than, quite good.
April 5, 2009
That’s 11 friggin’ steps just to get on with your life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwOvuY0UbFM
April 5, 2009
Fortunately alt-F4 works properly to close it too, without all of the messing about.
I really enjoyed Assassin’s Creed when I played through it as well, it had the right combination of crazy parkour action and story. It did irritate me that it was very difficult to do a stealth kill in most of the story missions though. All too often the final approach would be a diving taken blade through the eye, just the way they used to do in the old country no doubt.
April 5, 2009
Another annoying thing when you want to just load the game on a whim is that it makes you sit through the guild leaders entire exposition about the mission every… damn… time. Unskippable cutscenes that last 3-5 minutes before you can start a mission you’ve already beaten.
Really kills playing the game on a whim.
April 5, 2009
Reminds me of Far Cry 2, which I finally finished last week.
It’s a really good game, but bits of it are quite broken.
You can’t help feeling that another few months of tweaking the gameplay and it would have been a classic.
April 6, 2009
@ Ranneko
Now I feel like an absolute idiot for not realising I could have done that…
April 6, 2009
The problem with the man opener is the mauler is better :( I wanted to keep the man opener :\
April 6, 2009
Yes! The vultures have won! Nondrick lives!
April 6, 2009
Assassin’s Creed is probably one of the most responsive game to the good old alt-F4. It quit to desktop immediately and the RAM usage dropped almost instantly on my computer. I suggest you try that next time you want to quit.
April 6, 2009
I finished all four L4D campaigns on Expert too, the game just doesn’t want to give me the damn achievement >:(
April 6, 2009
Also bought Assassin’s Creed on sale, also feeling exactly the same way you are. Bits are annoying, but it’s interesting enough to keep me going. We’ll see where it goes.
April 6, 2009
In a previous entry you mentioned getting Dead Space for the PC. Well congratulate yourself on getting Assassin’s Creed instead whatever its little niggles. Dead Space was one of those games I liked the sound of but didn’t think was going to be worth the full price on release but when I saw Amazon knocking it out cheap while I was getting some other stuff I chucked it in the basket.
Bad mistake, should have done some research first. The PC version is ruined, for me at least, by being a lazy console port where you can’t remap the controls as you like. Got 5 buttons or more on your mouse? Well throw the ones over 3 away, you won’t be using them in this game. And the ones it does deign to recognise can only be used for actions the game approves of. I guess if a) you like gamepads and b) have one for your PC then you might get on with it ok, but after a few minutes lurching around I headed rapidly back to L4D where running and gunning didn’t need the manipulative skills of an octopus.
April 6, 2009
Assassin’s Creed got extremely repetitive and I had to stop playing.
April 6, 2009
Just a quick thing, once you’ve been to all 3 of the cities for assassinations at least once, you will be able to quick travel there just like you do back after finishing an assassination. They just make you ride the horse to each city once because they’re jerks.
April 6, 2009
The problem with the mauler is it has lower health than the Man Opener, and awesome as auto axes may be they’re best against trogs, and mediocre elsewhere. In terms of use, I found jingwei’s shocksword to be much more effective overall, though my game crashed frequently when the electric effect was going on an enemy :/ .
April 6, 2009
My impression of The Pitt was pretty negative. Like Anchorage, the DLC didn’t seem long enough, and nowhere near as long as the six(ish) hours Pete was saying we’d get. The real problem with the pack, though, is that Bethesda keeps tripping over its inability to tell a story well.
Bethesda kept promising a story with choice and with morally grey areas, then forces a huge amount of negative karma on you if you actually choose to diverge from its established path. Suffice it to say that to deviate from the plan of the slaves in the Pitt–even slightly–results in every single one of them immediately becoming your enemy and pursuing you endlessly until you lay down enough bottlecap mines to kill them all (seven in my experience) in one go. And it’s not even as if you do something terrible to the slaves to invoke this kind of hatred; it’s actually inaction that makes them want to kill you so badly.
I enjoyed The Pitt far more than O:A, but it’s a deeply flawed experience.
April 6, 2009
“Why do it that way at all? Why not give me the choice at some point — some mission where I could choose to break the rules of the creed based on the events unfolding in front of me, maybe some situation where breaking the rules was simply the best path to take?”
Because that’s not the story they’re telling. This isn’t Fallout or Oblivion, where you’re shaping a created character’s life. This is the story of Altair, and, at least to start, Altair is a dick who can mouth the Creed but does not understand it.
April 6, 2009
Yeah, I see your point. I guess I’ve gotten used to injecting myself into the characters I play, and it’s a little off-putting to play a game where who I am is completely predetermined. I have no problem playing a dickish assassin, I’d just prefer to choose for myself his level and manner of dickishness.
April 6, 2009
The guy (one in the future) isn’t an assassin. He’s just random barman.
April 6, 2009
I loved Assassin’s Creed when I first played it, enough to rent it twice to play on my brother’s 360 in exchange for him playing TF2 on my laptop. I beat it and collected most of the flags. I bought it on sale for PC but can’t bring myself to install it just because of the cutscenes. I know it’ll be a blast once I get through them, but it’s such an annoyance to take the five minutes to load the game, then have to wait five more not because my computer can’t handle it, or it needs me to watch an ad to keep it running, but because it won’t let me skip a scene it knows I’ve already seen! Every other part was great for me, especially filling the streets with guard corpses until one catches me, then leading them around the city or killing enough that they give up (and pouncing on the runners.) I’ll also miss having achievements, but I’ve come to accept that in non-Valve games.
April 6, 2009
The biggest problem I had with Assassin’s Creed was that once you unlock the counter-attack, swordfighting becomes trivial and you no longer have to worry about stealth at all, because you can kick up a huge fuss and dispatch the entire town’s guard, hardly denting your huge health bar, especially seeing how all the soldiers take it in turns to have a pop at you.
That and the ridiculous final battle.
April 6, 2009
Yayyy Nondrick!
April 6, 2009
I actually really enjoyed travelling to each city in Assasins Creed, infact i would sometimes travel back too. Those damn guards do make it a little annoying though.
@Joerdgs: im in the same boat, finised all L4D campaigns on expert and no achievement. I was on 3/4 then it went back down to 1/4 and now im on 2/4. ARGH!!
April 6, 2009
I’ll be joining your friend in the 3.7% group one of these days. If only I would stop getting jumped on by a god damned hunter right as I put my foot in the rescue vehicle on blood harvest -_-
April 6, 2009
@Kollega
Uhmm, the one in the future explains that he was once an assassin in the first 3 min or so of the game…
Chris: Once you quit to go to the Animus Screen use Alt-F4 to insta quit, and once you’ve gone to all threee cities it will let you insta-travel which is nice, and to the assassin’s bureau in each place, not just the outskirts.
April 6, 2009
So exactly like Oblivion and Fallout 3, both of which I believe you’re a fan of?
…Honestly, the way these bloggers complain, it’s outrageous ;)
April 6, 2009
You know, giving the player some great abilities and then taking them all away again after the introduction isn’t unheard of. Exhibit A: Metroid Prime 1/2.
April 6, 2009
Hmm… I’ve never actually exited Assassin’s Creed ‘normally’. I just keep playing until it crashes (rofl)… which is ALL THE TIME. In fact, I get the BSoD everytime it crashes. I’m never playing that on my crappy ass PC again.
April 6, 2009
One thing I found about Assassin’s Creed: you have to turn the radar off. If you leave it on, then it’s all about going from one point to another. With it off, half the fun is hunting down the informers. Also, don’t use the tab-map, except for the informer race, since that’s the only one that’s impossible without it. To find the marked assassin targets, use eagle vision, and follow the murmur.
April 6, 2009
Sorry for double post, just noticed this: Assassin’s Creed teaser site: http://assassinscreed.uk.ubi.com/assassins-creed-2/teaser/
April 6, 2009
Props: Chris!
Also, you’ve convinced me to give Assassin’s Creed a try. I always wanted to, but I’ve been repeatedly dissuaded by the folks here that hate everything but their favorite series of games.
April 6, 2009
I feel the soul of 1Fort coming back into FPS.
April 6, 2009
Anyone else think one of those “The Top 9 Video Game OCD Moments You Know You’re Guilty Of” should have been making it a point to jump into every Oblivion gate you go into?
April 6, 2009
Hilarious Simpsons reference. I LOL’d.
April 6, 2009
@Barium: Oh God, I didn’t. There were plenty of gates I left before I went into the Great Oblivion Gate. Screw Oblivion gates. Every one is the same boring repetitive dungeon grind through the same stupid lava surrounded area and the same stupid Sigil Tower with the same stupid floors and Blood Wells and whatever other bullshit that was there. Oblivion Gates were the single least creative thing in that entire game.
April 6, 2009
Funny, you write this the same day the Assassin’s Creed 2 teaser trailer comes out. O.o
April 6, 2009
Wait. Did I read that right? New Nondrick?
Isn’t that a sign of the apocalypse or something?
April 7, 2009
the only reason i ever closed oblivion gates was because i like having pretty views, and the hellish skies were so uhgly dahling!
@midget: the signs are: new Nondrick, chris revealing an up-to-date picture of himself, and a new comic.
ALSO: assasins creed 2 ?!?!?!? GONE
April 7, 2009
Well, I’m thoroughly pissed off. I won’t be playing any of my games for awhile, as my video card decided to overheat and kill itself. I wasn’t even overclocking it, nor did I ever. Lucky for me, the damned thing is still under warranty.
April 7, 2009
Give Assassin’s Creed some more time, man, the game rapidly becomes awesome in the middle third.
April 7, 2009
Putzy, lrn2giveamuletofkingstojauffreandleavekvatchalone.
I still need to finish AC.
April 7, 2009
I have an idea for TF2. Currently, “Help!” voice command is of little use. My suggestion is this: when someone calls for help, an exclamation mark icon appears over their head, just like medic call, but visible to everyone. If caller stands on enemy point/near the cart, sword icon will appear, and if he stands on frienly point, shield icon will appear. And if caller is low on health,then icon will turn red (again,just like the “Medic!” icon). If people from Valve somehow see and implement this idea,then add icon to “Spy!” too, to point out where the Spy actually is - and maybe even his disguise.
…and that’s all because i currently play without a mic. But really,it would be useful in some cases,and it wouldn’t add to visual noise - Medic calls is there,right?
April 7, 2009
The exclamation bubble is alreay being used when someone is using their mic.
April 7, 2009
You micless scum, exclamation mark is for mic using pros.
Seriously mics are so cheap. Get one.
April 7, 2009
You do get to teleport later on, in Assassin’s Creed, you just need to get all the viewpoints in the Kingdom, or in the 4th memory block.
April 7, 2009
@Kollega
What if you didn’t actually see a Spy, but were just spamming “Spy!” either for fun or out of paranoia, and it suddenly flagged up a Spy that happened to be nearby?
April 7, 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23b3e1-nvJ0 you will watch this
April 7, 2009
Hey, Chris, you should try Crysis. It is a good FPS, and since you are a fan of the genre, I think you’d like it much. One thing, though, be sure you meet the minimum system requirements, or your video card may melt. I run it in Very high, and my GPU runs at about 45 degrees C on my PC made of obsidian carved by magical leprechauns. It’s even available on Steam! Not only that, but I’m interested in seeing a review by you on it. It may prove interesting.
April 7, 2009
He has tried Crysis.
You’d know that if you were a TRUE fan.
April 7, 2009
Only kidding. But he has played it.
April 7, 2009
@ all the guys telling me to get mic: i had one. HAD, unfortunately. I’m gonna get one… someday, but icons would be useful nontheless - it’s kinda hard to get someone’s attention even when you have a mic, and visual indicators will be useful to point out your location.
@ .ico S: damnit. I forgot it. How it can look then? Maybe some kind of warning sign? I don’t know…
@ Zorgulon: you didn’t got my idea. “Spy!” speechbubble should point to a player who said “Spy!”,AND NOT AN ACTUAL SPY.
April 8, 2009
Erm, has the twitter gone weird? I’m sure it wasnt 17 days since you put the last comment on. OR maybe there’s just something wring with my internet.
April 8, 2009
Chris, you should try this awesome game I found. It’s called the Orange Cube or something like that. It has an interesting sequel to an old game and a really odd puzzeler about drilling holes in the wall. The best game on it is Team Castle 2 though. You choose between nine different classes and fight in castles. It’s really unique and fun. Maybe you could review it. Have fun :)
April 8, 2009
Oh yeah, I heard that Team Castle 2 is amazingly great, but apparently that hole-drilling game is absolute crap. I have of copy of The Orange Cube sitting on my desk right now. Some developer name “TAp software” made it.
April 8, 2009
Will Wright leaves EA?! FUCK YEAH!!!
April 9, 2009
@ A true fan
Team Castle 2? Orange Cube? TAp? That sounds very familiar. Oh wait. I get it. Its a joke!
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